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Post by Angus McLaurel on Aug 26, 2008 16:37:01 GMT
Some of my favourite quotes from Laurel & Hardy films...
SONS OF THE DESERT (1933)
OLLIE: Why did you get a veteranariun?
STAN: Well I didn't think his religion would make any difference
STAN: I'm going down and I'm gonna tell her everything...
OLLIE: So you're turning yellow
STAN: Hhh?
OLLIE: You're yellow
STAN: (slight pause) Must be the lightning
WAY OUT WEST (1937)
LOLA: Tell me 'bout my dear daddy, is it true that he's dead?
STAN: Well we hope he is, they buried him!
LOLA: What did he die of?
STAN: I think he died of a Tuesday!
THEM THAR HILLS (1934)
STAN: We could hire one of those trailers. I know a guy who's got one for rent, we could get it for next to nothing... I bet if we paid cash, we'd get it for less than that!
STAN: What shall we have for dinner?
OLLIE: How about a plate of beans and some steaming hot coffee
STAN: Swell, you sure know how to plan a meal!
BUSY BODIES (1933)
OLLIE: The whole world looks bright (looks at Stan) why, even you look bright this morning
TWICE TWO (1933)
OLLIE: What did she say?
STAN: She said that we can't go out tonight, that we have to go right home
OLLIE: Why?
STAN: Cause she's got a surprise for you
OLLIE: What else did she say?
STAN: She told me not to tell you she had a surprise
OLLIE: well don't tell me
STAN: I won't, I can keep a secret.
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Post by Angus McLaurel on Aug 26, 2008 16:39:19 GMT
HELPMATES
CONVERSATION ON TELEPHONE
OLLIE: Where have you been?
STAN: I was here with me
OLLIE: Why weren't you over to the party last night?
STAN: I couldn't make it. I was bitten by a dog
OLLIE: You were what?
STAN: A dog bit me
OLLIE: I can't understand you. Spell it...
STAN: A dog bit me.. B. I. - it me bit me
OLLIE: Where?
STAN (points to his wrist): There!
SCRAM!
JUDGE: You're charged with vagrancy. Are you guilty or not guilty?
OLLIE: Not guilty your highness
JUDGE: On what grounds?
STAN: We weren't on the grounds, we were sleeping on a park bench
ANOTHER FINE MESS
COP 1: Say Kelly, did you see a couple of bozo's round this way?
COP 2: Sure. A couple just went in there. What's wrong?
COP 1: Trying to make a hotel out of the city park. Why, they even put a couple of benches together so they could have twin beds
COP 2: Oh yeah?
COP 1: Oh yes, and when I told them to move on, the little fellow tipped his hat and said "yes mam" !
;D
THELMA: Tell me Agnes, how long have you been here?
STAN : About a half an hour.... How silly of me... I`m so nervous... I mean, er, a half a year... To be exact, three months.
FLYING DEUCES (1939)
Ollie has fallen for a girl....
STAN: What's the matter?
OLLIE: I don't know
STAN: I know..... Your in love
OLLIE: In what?
STAN: In love! L.U.G.H. ....love!
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Post by mgm on Aug 27, 2008 13:42:53 GMT
Going Bye Bye
"Excuse me please, my ear is full of milk."
My All-Time favourite
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Post by Jessop on Aug 27, 2008 14:36:41 GMT
The Laurel & Hardy Murder Case
Ollie: Say didn't you once tell me you had an uncle..
Stan: Sure I got an uncle why?
Ollie: Now were getting someplace is he living?
Stan: No he fell through a trap door and broke his neck.
Ollie: Was he building a house?
Stan: No they were hanging him..
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Post by mrlevity on Aug 27, 2008 21:13:27 GMT
From My personal favourite , Them That Hills. Ollie:" We can't afford to buy one of those trailers." Stan: "We don't have to buy it, we can rent one. I know this fella whose got one for rent, and we can get it for next to nothing. I bet if we pay cash we can get it for less than that." Ollie: "Can you take one of those up into the mountains ?" Stan : "Sure, right up in the high multitudes."  |
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Post by Mr. Doubletake on Jan 12, 2009 22:27:19 GMT
The Fixer Uppers.
STAN (On Phone): "Hello. This is me. Yeah. Say, listen, if you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right in the nose, and I'm just the fellah that can do it!"
And the classic......................
OLLIE:"Who was it?"
STAN:"Oh, some fella having a joke,"
OLLIE"Well, what'd he say?"
STAN:"Well, I said 'Hello, And the fella said, 'It's a long distance from Atlanta, Georgia.' And I said, 'It sure is.'"
AWESOME!!
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Post by Angus McLaurel on Jan 13, 2009 16:55:45 GMT
ONE GOOD TURN
OLLIE: Pardon the intrusion lady, but my friend and I are victims of the depression. We haven't tasted food for three whole days
OLD LADY: Fancy not eating for three whole days
STAN: Yes mam, Yesterday, today and tomorrow
and...
Ollie orders Stan to chop some wood...
OLLIE: Well you suggested it, now you cut it
STAN: Well I don't know anything about cutting wood
OLLIE: Well you ought to. You once told me your father was in the lumber business
STAN: I know he was, but it was only in a small way
OLLIE: What do you mean, `small way`?
STAN: Well, he used to sell toothpicks
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Post by Lola on Jul 24, 2009 15:59:21 GMT
Helpmates
just after Stan first arrives....
Stan: I've never known it to fail.
Ollie: What?
Stan: When the mice are away, the cats are always... playing around the thing... and.... doing something. (pause) If the mice....
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Post by judgefoozle on Nov 9, 2009 23:25:24 GMT
For me, it's the money-go-round in Thicker Than Water. Priceless!
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Post by piedmont on Jan 14, 2010 20:01:15 GMT
Mine are :- from "Going Bye-Bye"
"Aren't you Gonna Hang Him ?" ;D
"The Bohemian Girl"
(Stan) "Well Oliver, I hope you grow up to be as good a mother as your father"
"Sons of the Desert"
(Stan) "Well, If we did'nt go to the mountains, Mohammed would have to come here"
"Oliver the Eighth"
(Stan) "Well, I couldn't help it, I was dreaming I was awake, and then I woke up and found myself asleep. "
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